DISCLOSURES

How Will the Child be Feeling?
Notes:

 

Children may be

  • scared that they won’t be believed, or
  • scared of how you will react
  • scared of what the perpetrator might do to them or
  • worried about what might happen to the perpetrator – particularly if they are a Parent or Caregiver or close relative
  • scared that they will be taken from home, or
  • defensive of their own or the perpetrators actions
  • guilt and shame about their involvement in the abuse – and feel like they deserved it or they were at fault.

But they may also present as

  • emotionless – almost robotic in the way they talk and answer questions
  • calm and even chatty – as though they are talking about their favourite toy
  • unconcerned
  • dismissive – trying to minimise the abuse or the actions of the perpetrator – they may even defend the perpetrator

Above all else – BELIEVE THEM!!

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Information:

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You will read a lot about how children feel when they are disclosing abuse – and the typical description includes feelings of fear, shame and guilt. And in many cases this is true.

But the truth is you simply can’t presume how a child will be feeling when they disclose. In hundreds of interviews we’ve done with children who’ve disclosed abuse, some children are as you’d probably expect - emotional – feeling scared, ashamed, anxious and worried.

But others told us about horrific acts of abuse as though they were talking about the ham sandwich they just had for lunch.

Children will often be scared about how you will react, and whether they will be in trouble or whether the perpetrator will get into trouble.

They might fear being taken from their Parents, or may have been threatened by the perpetrator and so they fear being hurt by them

But they could also be emotionless, almost like they’re in a trance or robotic in the way they talk and respond to questions, or they could even be calm or quite chatty as though they are talking about ice cream or a favourite toy.

They could appear unconcerned and dismissive – even to the point of trying to defend the perpetrator’s actions.

When a child is disclosing their behaviour and moods can be confusing. So keep an open mind during a disclosure and let the child’s behaviour and feelings guide you as to how you react.

But regardless of how the child behaves or what emotions they show when they’re disclosing, the most important thing you need to make sure you do is to BELIEVE THEM.

The harm done to a child when they aren’t believed far outweighs any risk of harm happening because you believed something that wasn’t true.

Now we’ll take you through some simple tips to help you deal with disclosures so that you ensure the best outcome possible for the child, the investigation AND yourself!